Why Self-Care Feels Hard (and How to Make it Easier)
Introduction
We hear it all the time: “You need to take care of yourself.” “Make self-care a priority.” “You can’t pour from an empty cup.”
I used to nod along when I heard these things, but deep down, I felt frustrated. If self-care was so important, why did it feel impossible? Why did something meant to bring relief feel like another thing on my to-do list?
For a long time, I thought self-care meant bubble baths and spa days—things that felt nice but didn’t actually help when I was struggling with anxiety and depression. I didn’t understand why taking care of myself felt exhausting instead of restorative.
But here’s what I’ve learned: self-care isn’t supposed to be hard. If it feels impossible, overwhelming, or like just another obligation, it’s not because you’re failing—it’s because there are real barriers making it difficult. And the good news? You can work through them.
If you’ve ever struggled to make self-care a regular part of your life, you’re not alone. Let’s talk about why it can feel so difficult—and how to make it easier, more natural, and more fulfilling.
4 Reasons Self-Care Feels Hard (And How to Make It Easier)
1. It Feels Like Another Obligation
I used to make lists of things I was supposed to do for self-care:
✔ Meditate every morning.
✔ Journal before bed.
✔ Exercise for at least 30 minutes.
✔ Drink enough water, eat healthy, get 8 hours of sleep…
And on days when I was struggling? That list felt like an impossible checklist of ways I was failing.
For many of us, self-care has become just another thing we’re expected to do. When life already feels overwhelming, adding more to your plate—even if it’s supposed to be good for you—can feel like too much.
How to Make It Easier
Reframe self-care as something you deserve, not something you have to do.
Instead of thinking “I should meditate”, try “I deserve a moment of peace.”
Focus on what genuinely feels nourishing, not what you think you should be doing.
Try This Today: Take one deep breath and remind yourself, “I deserve this moment of calm.”
2. Guilt Gets In the Way
Have you ever sat down to take a break and immediately thought about everything else you should be doing instead?
For a long time, I felt guilty taking care of myself. If I had time to rest, didn’t that mean I should be getting more work done? Cleaning something? Helping someone else?
So many of us—especially women—are conditioned to believe that our worth is tied to how much we do for others. We spend so much time taking care of everything and everyone else that when we finally have time for ourselves, we don’t even know how to use it. And worse, we feel bad about it.
The truth? Taking care of yourself doesn’t take away from others—it allows you to show up fully in your life.
How to Make It Easier
Remind yourself that you can’t pour from an empty cup—taking care of yourself helps you show up better for others.
Start with small acts of self-care that take just a few minutes.
Use an affirmation: “Resting is not selfish. I am worthy of care.”
Try This Today: Give yourself 5 minutes just for you. No guilt. No productivity required.
3. Mental Health Challenges Make It Feel Impossible
When I was at my lowest, even small things—brushing my hair, making breakfast, responding to texts—felt overwhelming. When you’re dealing with anxiety or depression, self-care can feel like one more thing you don’t have the energy for.
And here’s the thing: the way self-care is often presented—morning routines, gym sessions, long meditations—doesn’t work when you’re struggling just to get through the day.
When you’re in that place, self-care needs to be as easy as possible.
How to Make It Easier
Lower the bar—self-care doesn’t have to be a big commitment.
Use a self-care menu based on your energy levels:
Low Energy? Listen to calming music. 🎵
Moderate Energy? Journal for 5 minutes. 📖
High Energy? Go for a short walk. 🚶♀️
Try This Today: Give yourself 5 minutes just for you. No guilt. No productivity required.
4. You’re Not Sure What Works for You
For the longest time, I thought I hated self-care because the usual advice—bubble baths, meditation, skincare routines—didn’t feel helpful to me. But the problem wasn’t self-care itself. The problem was that I hadn’t figured out what worked for me.
We’re all different. Some people feel recharged by journaling; others find it exhausting. Some love being around people; others need quiet alone time. The key to making self-care work is finding what actually makes you feel better.
How to Make It Easier
Personalize your self-care—think about what makes you feel calm, grounded, or energized.
Experiment & reflect—try different activities and note how they affect your mood.
Make it flexible—self-care isn’t one-size-fits-all.
Try This Today: List three activities that make you feel good (big or small).
How to Make Self-Care Feel Natural and Enjoyable
Once you recognize what’s making self-care feel difficult, you can shift your approach to make it easier, more natural, and more enjoyable.
🌸 Start Small: A 5-minute practice is still progress.
🌸 Pair Self-Care with Something You Already Do: Attach it to an existing habit (like deep breathing after brushing your teeth).
🌸 Track & Celebrate Small Wins: Use a mood tracker or journal to reflect on what’s working for you.
💜 You are worthy of care, today and every day. Start with just one small action today.
💬 What’s one self-care practice that helps you feel your best? Share in the comments!